I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: dating in 2016 is the worst. Never has there been so much uncertainty and confusion when putting yourself out there to choose or be chosen as a lifetime partner. Thanks to technology, we’re no longer limited to our neighborhoods or workplaces. Now the entire world is our oyster. Miss one bus, thousands more are coming. Women have evolved and fully embraced their sexuality and men are all for it. The weaker minds don’t even know how to operate because their options are overwhelming. Men are being held to lower and lower standards which makes it nearly impossible for a woman with higher standards to find a suitable mate without having to compromise in some way.

“Talking” is a dating phase created by individuals exploring their options and not truly ready for long-term commitment. It doesn’t take weeks or months to determine whether or not you’ve met someone you would like to invest your time and energy in knowing exclusively. It does, however, take weeks or months to determine WHICH of your options you’ll choose to commit to. At the end of the day, it depends on why a person is dating. If they are dating for fun, new experiences, and meeting new people then they’ve allotted the time and energy for that in their dating phase. If someone is dating for a long-term relationship, then I believe they will approach it very differently.

People should know after the first couple of dates max whether they want to continue getting to know a person. Genuinely getting to know someone is not accomplished by getting to know multiple someone’s at the same time. You don’t have to go to a restaurant more than once to determine whether or not you like the food, service, atmosphere. You already have your standards of what you like and expect. The restaurant either meets them or doesn’t.

Basically, everyone dates with purpose, you just have to see if their purpose and your purpose match. If someone is serious about a relationship and you require that level of effort and attention, someone who believes dating multiple people at once will just not cut it for you because they will not be able to provide that. Communication is key here. Don’t be afraid to have those conversations up front, especially if it’s important to you.

Making general statements about “all guys” is redundant. You have not dated “all guys”. You just keep CHOOSING to date the same type of guys. And frankly, that says so much about you as a woman. And what it says it that you have a lot to learn. You attract people based on unrefined things in yourself. Every guy you’ve dated lies? Well, what do you lie to yourself about? They always cheat? How are you cheating yourself in life? They’re inconsistent and don’t have any concept of follow through? In what ways are you inconsistent and flaky?

I promise that YOU will always be the common denominator in every failed relationship. This is why you are always hearing people say “you need to love yourself”. Because you don’t. And if you did, you would take advantage of the opportunity to learn about you and what truly makes you happy in life. And with that clear mind, you will also set new standards for your romantic, dating relationships.