Honestly, the guys who aren’t ready for a relationship and probably never will be are counting on the girls who say they want true love and a real relationship yet still entertain them. They know they’re full of it and a woman who knows what she wants wouldn’t give him the time of day. Some men are truly smarter than we think.
Unfortunately this is a very dysfunctional way of thinking, but these type of men know the right things to say to get you comfortable with them and somewhat stuck for their benefit. Once they get you there, you’re their convenience. They know you’ll always be down, always be available, and stick around because they’ve purposely made you “fall” for them. And the reason you “fell” is because you are still sold on some unrealistic ideal of what true love is and what it takes to obtain it.
So the longer we, as women, navigate our singleness without direction because this week we’re indulging in our sexual desires, but then two weeks from now that feeling will flee and we’ll be left wanting to be treated like a girlfriend. Which we most likely won’t get from the guy we chose to entertain while we just wanted some.
So men have absolutely no reason to step up, some have no desire. And you’ll continue to attract unmotivated, lazy men with big dreams who can give you great sex yet no substance. They’re unable to contribute to a solid foundation because they don’t have one. Unfortunately, a lot of the empowerment in this industry is geared towards women. And I think it’s because we’re more open to change and improvement. A lot of men battle with their pride and ego so the idea of listening to someone else…ANYONE else suggest another possibly better way for them to live life is not received.
This is another reason why I believe fathers are so important. These values and skills NEED to be impressed upon boys as they grow because once they become men, I won’t say they’re a lost cause…but if they missed out on that crucial part of their development early on, they will struggle if and only if some part of their conscious has been salvaged enough to know they should be better and they have an inkling of a desire to be better. But alas they will struggle…sometimes for yeeeaaars. Well into their 30s, 40s, and beyond. They’ll never get married, they’ll never settle down…but they will have their needs met no doubt. Or they will get married, but definitely will not settle down.
Because until WOMEN want better for themselves, there will always be a woman who gives to this type of man and patiently waits or what have you. So that is why I aim to empower women. Hopefully there is a brother out there called with the gift to reach and exclusively empower our men. I believe they need it more than we do, but they’re a lot harder to reach.
Strive to get to a place where you humbly hold yourself in such a high regard that you demand royal treatment and respect from any man who dares to pursue you. The ones who don’t believe they have to put in work are not looking for anything long-term, therefore they’re not interested in investing the effort necessary. And if they are looking for long-term, steer clear. Because they’re looking for a woman who will accept him as he is and he will put her through hell. He desires a passive woman who stays in her place (whatever that means to him) and who will allow him to do as he please all the while holding him down and letting him treat her like an afterthought. He’ll have the security of having a woman at home to take care of him, but also the freedom to roam and explore his options with other women who aren’t smart enough to recognize the major flaws in his character.