Too many women treat undeserving men like kings. The bottom line is that a lot of us settle in the first place due to a lack of standards or a compromising of those standards. There comes a point in life where men and women can no longer be just friends. Either the man or the woman in any such friendship is going to want more from the other person or hope things progress into a relationship. I’ve been on both sides of that river. It wasn’t until I defined for myself what I wanted in a man and from my future relationship/marriage that I began to understand the value of myself and my time. I distanced myself from those no-purpose serving relationships and focused on my own growth and well being.

In the absence of logic, when we choose any particular man who is not up to par, we stay thinking that we will be able to influence his desire to change once he realizes how great of a woman we are or that eventually he’ll finally grow into his potential version of this amazing man that we’ve concocted in our minds. Unfortunately, that’s not how it works. Matter of fact, the guy most likely knows he’s not worthy and he will lose respect for you the longer you put up with his shenanigans.

If you think about it, men can only treat us the way we allow them to. And our “permission” for them to keep treating us disrespectfully is by staying. The only reason he acted right for those couple of weeks was because he is smart and knew something was out of the ordinary. Maybe you were upset or obviously disturbed and he wanted to salvage what little face he had left. So essentially, not to excuse their behavior, but we have no grounds to be upset or disappointed in anyone except ourselves.

A lot of us will settle because they we’re either insecure, don’t really know what we want, don’t know how to judge character in a man, aren’t strong enough to stand against temptation (casual sex and dating to see ‘where things end up’ are other reasons why people end up in doomed relationships), or we are lonely, fearful of being alone or having missed our mark for love. It’s sad and the list goes on, but that’s how it goes. We’ve all been there.

I want to encourage more women to learn to truly love themselves, value their worth and time, develop their relationships with God, set some standards and stand firm, and understand that we only attract what we are. If you keep attracting the same type of wrong men, it’s due to unrefined things in yourself.

Our dating relationships set the tone for our future so we should take more responsibility and better care of our choices. If we desire long-term commitment, the priority should be in preparing ourselves to be the right woman for the man we want, and then we will attract that man.